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Thursday, February 16, 2012

Uko Amajyambere Yiyongera Niko Gutandukana kw'Abashakanye Kwiyongera

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Uko isi igenda irushaho gutera imbere ngo ni na ko ingo nyinshi zirushaho gusenyuka, aho usanga ubutane (divorce) bugenda bufata ijanisha rinini ugereranije no mu myaka ishize ariko cyane cyane ngo umubare munini ukaba ugaragara muri Leta Zunze Ubumwe za Amerika no mu bihugu by’Uburayi, aho usanga kimwe cya kabiri cy’abashakanye birangira basabye ubutane.

Nyuma y’aho baboneye ko iki kibazo gihangayikishije, ngo haba hari bumwe mu bushakashatsi bwakozwe mu rwego rwo kugira ngo harebwe niba nta mpamvu zaba zitera uku gutandukana kw’abashakanye nk’uko bigaragra ku rubuga rwa interineti http://www.thelaboroflove.com. Uru rubuga rukomeza ruvuga ko ubushakashatsi bwagaragaje ko hari impamvu rusange zituma abashakanye babana nyuma bakaba batandukana.

Zimwe muri izo mpamvu zikaba ari izi zikurikira:

_Impamvu ngo ishobora gutuma abashakanye batarambana cyangwa se batabana akaramata nk’uko baba barabisezeranye ngo ni ukuba umwe mu bashakanye yaba umugabo cyangwa se umugore ari indashoboka, hano ngo ashobora kuba ari umuntu udashobora guhindura imico imwe n’imwe itari myiza, cyane cyane iyo atazi gucira bugufi no kubaha uwo bashakanye.

- Indi mpamvu usanga ihuriweho n’umubare munini mu bagiye batandukana n’abo bashakanye ikaba ari ugucana inyuma. Ngo iyo abashakanye harimo umwe uca inyuma y’undi, ngo ni gake iki gikorwa gishobora kwihanganirwa ndetse n’uwaciwe inyuma akaba yakwemera gutanga imbabazi, bityo rero ngo bikaba intandaro yo gutanduka ku bashakanye.

- Indi mpamvu rero ishobora kuba yatuma umugabo n’umuugore badakomeza kwihanganira kubana ngo ni ijyanye n’ikibazo cy’abana, aha ngo ikibazo gishobora guturuka kuko batumvikana umubare w’abo bagomba kubyara, kuba batunumvikana uburyo bazabareramo cyangwa se n’igihe batagize amahirwe yo kubyara; ibi ngo bikaba biteza amakimbirane n’umwuka mubi mu rugo; bamwe bakaba batabasha kubyihanganira bagahitamo gutandukana.

-Amakimbirane y’imyumvire (personal beliefs) n’imyemerere y’umuntu ku giti cye ngo ishobora kuba intandaro yo kutumvikana no gutana kw’abashakanye mu gihe buri wese atsimbaraye ku bye ntihagire ucira undi bugufi.

-Impamvu yindi ishobora gutuma abashakanye batihanganira gukomeza kubana igihe cyose ngo ni ikibazo cy’imicungire y’umutngo cyane cyane uw’amafaranga, ibi ngo bikaba biba igihe abashakanye batemeranwaho neza uburyo bagomba gukoresha amafaranga cyangwa se ngo ugasanga hari igihe bahaye amafaranga umwanya munini kuruta guha agaciro umubano wabo.

Uru rubuga rukomeza ruvuga ko uko iterambere ryiyongera usanga ari na ko umubano mwiza hagati y’abashakanye ugenda ugabanuka aho kugira ngo na wo utere imbere. Impamvu nyamukuru rero ngo zaba zibitera zikaba ari izo twavuze haruguru ngo ariko zikaba Atari zo zonyine ngo kuko hari n’utundi tuntu usanga abashakanye batumvikanaho bityo kwihanganirana kwaba gukeya hakabaho ubutane.

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